Our collective group over at JoeSportsFan.com are big fans of mustaches.  There, I said it.  That said, when Derrick Goold interviewed Cardinals hurler, Adam Wainwright, on Tuesday night and learned that the entire Cardinals pitching staff will be growing upper lip dusters, I was somewhat indifferent.

Frankly, the whole “growing mustaches for luck/attention” thing is somewhat played out (see: Dick Ankiel in ‘09, Clay Zavada in ‘09 and Jason Giambi in ‘08).

Nevertheless, we’re enjoying the recent Cardinals pitcher trend because we’re seeing a collective group of adult men transition through the dreaded “peach fuzz” phase – and that’s fun for the whole family.  For instance, when reliever Josh Kinney came off the DL a few weeks ago, he arrived with a full-blown lower nose beard.  Played out.  No fun.  Actually, kind of fun.  Whatever.

On the flip side, we’re seeing mustache goodness much like Albert Pujols in 2001…blossoming before our very eyes.

Brian Barden’s lip sweater is, perhaps, old news.  However, we wanted to make sure and document this puppy now because it’s quite an achievement in the storied history of St. Louis Cardinals lower nose beards.

If ever there was a comfortable mix between Burt Reynolds and a wide-mouth bass, the picture above might be it.

For the time being, the collective group of city officials and St. Louis Cardinals brass have abandoned the original plan to transform Ballpark Village into a commercial and residential metropolis.  To circumvent the embarrassment of a barren field due North of this year’s MLB All Star Game festivities at Busch Stadium, the aforementioned visionaries are building a softball field.  That’s right.  A. Softball.  Field.

While the solution is planned to be temporary until suitable real estate contracts are signed for Ballpark Village, make no mistake about it; softball fever is here to stay in downtown St. Louis.  When a barrage of overweight, mustached men sporting pinstriped ball pants begin making weekly voyages up Highway 55 to strut their stuff on the hallowed ground, the facades in and around Busch Stadium will become marketing gold mines.

Although the early skeleton of the Busch Stadium softball field embodies a beautiful skyline for ropes, bombs and piss rockets, we wonder what the horizon of downtown St. Louis will look like when it’s overrun by potential advertisers, marketing their products to the everyday, lavish adult softball guy.

(Click on the photo for a larger version)

This photo appeared in the June edition of St. Louis Sports Magazine, where the good people of JoeSportsFan.com (Sebek, Bacott and Imig) have a monthly, four page spread.  Read the entire magazine online here.

At this point, it’s not breaking news that Dick Ankiel shaved off his upper lip fur. It is breaking news, however, that we need to pay the proper respect to his stache. When that happens, we call in the American Mustache Institute from the bullpen to mop up the mess.

In memory of the upper lip squirrel passing, the American Mustache Institute coordinated a candlelight vigil Tuesday night along the Mississippi River underneath the world’s largest mustache — St. Louis’ Gateway Arch.

During the ceremony, AMI’s chief executive officer, Dr. Abraham J. Froman, was clearly shaken.

“We salute Mr. Ankiel for having the gumption and good looks required to grow a high quality lip canvas when many said he couldn’t,” said Dr. Froman. “Sadly, his actions have disappointed us all, most notably, his upper lip. Now, his mouth brow is gone and there’s a void above his lip and in the hearts of the Mustached American community everywhere.”

For more, see here.

God speed, Dick-stache.

Most hockey players start growing their playoff beards and/or mustaches around Game 1 of the postseason.  As Matt Sebek pointed out last week, several of the Blues look to have started theirs several weeks earlier given the thickness of their lip fur. 

None of them compare however to the dedication of the Blues penalty box attendant.  He began his playoff mustache the day the San Jose Sharks finished off the Blues in the 2004 quarterfinals…

That’s dedication, people.

Playoff beards have become synonymous with playoff hockey.  Several Blues players started growing out their face scruff in the Blues recent playoff push.  Blues right winger, Dan Hinote, has taken another angle – progressive ridiculousness around his upper lip fur.

Needless to say, if Mr. Hinote is serious about starting a new trend in “playoff mustaches”, we’re on board.

Kudos to Executive Tailgate Fan Hunter, Jason, for his picture submission.

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